parking peril
As some of you may know, Sarah and I recently moved into a new apartment. Our new building has the advantage of a parking space, though one -- not unusual in SF -- into which maneuvering is a tad difficult. Am I going to hit that other car as I back in? No, but I will certainly hit that wall! Adjust! Cut wheel! Cut the other way!
I had mastered a strategy for parking my car facing outward. Though the strategy required a fair amount of maneuvering and shifting, I felt pretty comfortable with it -- until last night. For some reason, as I was attempting to back my car into position (parellel parking style), I just could not find the right way into my slot. Now I'm convinced I'll never be able to do it again. I'm even thinking of going down right now to practice. How sad.
Of course, not being as skeptical as others are towards the offerings of psychoanalytic theory, I'm assuming many deeply entrenched anxieties about my adequacy as a man, as a driver, as a human being, as a husband, as a father-to-be, as a singer, as a teacher, as a citizen, as one in charge of his own hygeine (sp?), and as a member of the human community are a the root of my parking failure. Any thoughts?
I had mastered a strategy for parking my car facing outward. Though the strategy required a fair amount of maneuvering and shifting, I felt pretty comfortable with it -- until last night. For some reason, as I was attempting to back my car into position (parellel parking style), I just could not find the right way into my slot. Now I'm convinced I'll never be able to do it again. I'm even thinking of going down right now to practice. How sad.
Of course, not being as skeptical as others are towards the offerings of psychoanalytic theory, I'm assuming many deeply entrenched anxieties about my adequacy as a man, as a driver, as a human being, as a husband, as a father-to-be, as a singer, as a teacher, as a citizen, as one in charge of his own hygeine (sp?), and as a member of the human community are a the root of my parking failure. Any thoughts?
posted by Mark Meritt at 10:05 AM
6 Comments:
Having seen your parking space, which is nearly as big as your car, I might find your failure inexpicable except that I noticed that your car is rounded and the parking space is a square hole.
When I saw the title of this post, I thought it was going to be about what happened to us in the Kaiser parking garage...which I think is certainly material for another post, coming up soon, don't you? About this one, though...I believe you will park again, honey!! As God is your witness! :-)
Hey Mark,
I just saw your latest post, and I'll offer first this hoary Philly chestnut:
"Any parking job you can walk away from is a good one."
I lived in West Philly for a year (which has no parking) driving a 1983 jaundice-yellow, faux-wood-panelled Olds station wagon, approximately the length of three football fields. Coming home after work every day began the search, how long it was going to take to find a parking spot, or else finally snap and drive up onto the sidewalk and begin randomly shooting people. Under these conditions, you develop a Zen approach remarkably fast. You learn to maneuver the car in increments only measurable in angstroms. And ultimately, you learn to place an automobile in a spot that is physically too small for it. Since I'm 3000 miles away, I unfortunately can't play Morita to your Macchio, so I'll instead suggest the mantra "Be the space..." for starters. Go forth and conquer, kohai.
"Any thoughts?"
Yes. One: Use more lube.
I'm a sucky parallel parker, Mark. Or, rather, an unpredictable one. Sometimes, it's like I'm a superhero. I reverse once, I go forward once, and I'm in. Most of the time, though, it's a nightmarish 8-pt turn til I'm in. And then I'll have to go back because I'll realize I'm still a foot from the curb. Or (as happened once) ON the curb.
I've learned to laugh at myself. Because then when people are looking at me, making fun of me, I can partake in the laughter as well. I don't know if that works as well for husbanding or fathering (you'll have to ask Sarah), but it will take you far in parking and hygiening and citizening.
Take lessons from Michael or Dave. They've both done some amazing parking jobs.
Part of me wants to tell you to just park smack in the middle of the garage a la Homer Simpson. Make everyone else go around you, since somehow, the fact that you're having difficulties parking must be their fault.
But no. Don't do that.
I actually am for the practicing thing, being neurotic that way myself. If you practice parking in your spot and nobody sees you, does it count? Certainly not. So go for it.
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