Talking to my daughter about 80s metal

So I was sitting with Daisy (2 and a half) the other day in my living room, and we were listening to my Ipod on shuffle. Daisy likes to ask me about the songs she hears. She remembers them well too. In fact she frequently requests "Saints of Los Angeles" by Motley Crue.

Speaking of said Crue, as Daisy and I were listening, a song from Motley Crue's first album came on: "A Piece of Your Action." Here's a sampling of the lyrics:

I want you
I need you
I want you to be mine tonight
You need me
You tease me
Use you up, throw you away

You get the idea. Anyhow, Daisy asks me, "What's Motley Crue [who she believes is one person, presumably the one singing -- ala mistakes about Skynyrd and Floyd] saying?"

I respond, "Ummm...he's talking to a girl."
"What's he saying to her?"
"He says he likes her and he...uh...wants to hug and kiss her."
"What does SHE say?"
"She says, 'I don't know; you're kind of gross.'"
"Gross?" Daisy asks, laughing.
"Yeah, gross," I reply.
"Is he covered in poo?" Daisy asks.
"Umm...No, I think he's just dirty -- needs to take a shower."
"Is Motley Crue in the shower?"

Before we could go further, fortunately the song ended. On came "Living After Midnight" by Judas Priest.

"Who's that singing?" asks Daisy.
"Judas Priest."
"Oh! What's Jewish Priest saying?"
"Ummm...They're saying they want to go outside late at night and have fun."
"What does Jewish Priest's mama say?"

How well do you know your SO meme

How well do I know my wife?

1. Sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen? So You Think You Can Dance, Project Runway, or Top Chef most likely.

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does she get on her salad? Vinaigrette or Italian.

3. What's one food she doesn't like? Cilantro (for some reason)

4. You go out to the bar. What does she order? Varies -- white or red wine, occasionally beer.

5. Where did she go to high school?

Northport HS with Patti Lupone and Mariah Carey (OK they went before she did, but they're alumnae)

6. What size shoe does she wear? I guess 6.

7. If she were to collect anything, what would it be? 18th and 19th century novels and pens that have run out of ink.

8. What is her favorite type of sandwich? Italian sub from a good deli without frightening meats.

9. What would this person eat every day if she could? A can of chocolate frosting or very good Japanese food.

10. What is her favorite cereal? That's tough; I don't think she eats much cereal, but I know she has enjoyed cocoa pebbles.

11. What would she never wear? A suit of chainmail armor.

12. What is her favorite sports team? The mets.

13. Who will she vote for?Obama.

14. Who is her best friend? Tie between me and Daisy.

15. What is something you do that she wishes you wouldn't do? See her answer to this question regarding me.

16. How many states has she lived in?3: California, New York, and Oregon. (Should I count a few weeks of a summer she spent in Florida?)

17. What is her heritage? Ukrainian Jew and Irish.

18. You bake her a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake? Very rich chocolate with lots of frosting.

19. Did she play sports in high school?No. She played soccer in grammar school/middle school. And she was a spelling champ.

20. What could she spend hours doing? Reading, blogging, and playing various Facebook games.

a political post

Hi everyone,

I'm not given to posting on politics, not because I don't feel strongly about issues but because (in part) this blog is more personal and because I don't feel that I'm exceptionally well informed. However, I need to express a feeling and opinion here.

I'm very angry about John McCain's tactics in the present campaign. I'm an Obama supporter, so naturally I'm inclined to look more critically at McCain. However, in the past I have admired McCain for his departure from Republican positions when his conscience dictated such. For instance, his criticism of the current administration's employment of torture (which in fact even many conservatives, some within the administration, disagreed with) was commendable. (By the way, the Bush administration's degradation of our government through its conduct should just appall Repblicans and Democrats alike.) However, his attacks on Obama have been both offensive and plainly dishonest.

All one needs is to look at the recent ad attacking Obama's celebrity status (the one in which Obama is compared to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton). It's hard to count just how many things are offensive about this ad. First, it clearly is intended to stoke fears of "black power" through the soundtrack's "Obama" chants. That is, we're asked to fear that Obama will lead an irrational mob of un-Americans into an assault on our country's putatively pure values and practices. Second, that same chanting soundtrack is clearly meant to evoke comparisons of Obama to fascist dictators. Third, comparing Obama to Spears and Hilton is not only silly (a more legitimate critique might compare him to charasmatic political figures or some other kind of figure) but is deeply sexist. What is implied here is that Obama is shallow and without substance -- like these women are supposed to be. The ad is clearly meant to feminize Obama and tag him with sexist stereotypes (lack of depth and practical ability) usually attached to women in the dominant misogynist culture in which we still live.

To top it all off, McCain's ad claims that Obama said he would tax electricity -- a simple, out and out lie.

Speaking of lies, I keep hearing on the news that many people STILL think Obama is Muslim and fear his election for that reason. First, it's sad that Muslim faith could be cited as a reason not to vote for a candidate. Isn't that simply overt religious prejudice? Second, as anyone with an IQ above 3 who has payed more than 1.1 second of attention must surely have discovered several times over by now, Obama is NOT a Muslim. He's a Christian (as if that should make a difference).

I don't think this post will accomplish anything. Obviously political discourse is complex and to ask for total honesty from any politician unrealistic. However, McCain's lies and misogynistic, racist advertising tactics are disappointing, to say the least. People should vote their convictions and make up their own minds. I don't like telling people how to vote. But in my utoptian vision of our public sphere, such lies would be unthinkable, in part because voters/viewers/listeners could simply see through them.

Thanks for listening...

thoughts on my daughter

It's been a long time since I've posted. This morning I've been puzzling over something I haven't been able to explain to myself. In general terms, I'm interested in how the most mundane moments in our lives can be really moving. More specifically, I'm trying to figure out why something my 21 month old daughter Daisy says -- "Play wif Play-do Map" -- nearly moves me to tears.

What she is trying to say of course is, "I want to play with the Play-do Mat," a plastic mat upon which she can play with her Play-do set. I think just the simple earnest expression of her desire to play with this basic children's toy is in itself moving. Aren't people's simple pleasures -- eating a not fancy favorite food, playing with an "unexciting" toy, or liking an uncool TV show (unironically) -- a big part of what lends them their humanity? One way of thinking is that what makes people special is each person's putative "uniqueness." That certainly must be true; otherwise we would like all people equally and see few distinctions or variations. But I feel that it's at least equally true that we love and care for others precisely because of their ordinary or even generic qualities, those seemingly meaningless and empty gestures, habits, or decisions that weave the moments of their lives together.

But I also think Daisy's particular formulation is important. The use of the verb without a subject -- not "I want to play with" but "Play with" -- seems touching to me, maybe because the lack of syntactial specificity and sophistication makes her want seem more basic and natural. The mispronunciations -- "map" for "mat," "wif" for "with" -- also have this effect, as anyone observing any child knows.

When I think of Daisy negotiating her small way through this large, complex, and increasingly (it seems) perilous world, expressing a simple wish to slighlty enjoy herself by sitting on a three by three plastic mat, I find it adorably sad. It's hard not to resort to cliches about childhood and innocence, and I feel that I'm getting at something deeper -- or maybe not -- maybe part of becoming a parent is shedding the habit of dismissing cliches about childhood and innocence and recognizing that you yourself are much more ordinary than you ever thought (if you ever were pretentious enough -- as I was -- to think otherwise).

Van Halen Dream

I've been re-reading bits of Freud for some reason lately. Perhaps that's why my unconscious decided to become a bit more active last night. (Can an unconscious "decide"?)

Well, I dreamed last night that I went to the Van Halen reunion concert. (I didn't go to the real concernt; I like Van Halen but am not a superfan.) Interestingly, the concert was not in an arena; it was a small, rather rustic cottage or cabin, roughly the size of my living room. Van Halen were playing on a hardwood floor mere feet from the audience (no stage). What's more, the venue was nowhere near full; roughly nine fans were in attendance. Yet VH seemed very grateful for the crowd, as if they preferred to have an intimate evening with a few good fans. David Lee Roth allowed each of us in the audience to sing a line or two here and there (I sang a line from "Jump," not a song to which my conscious daylight self is particularly attached). After completing "Jump," the band broke for a moment, and then Eddie Van Halen approached the microphone and said, "Thanks. We're happy to have with us a very special guest here tonight: California State Senator Don Peratta, and we'd like him to sing the next song." Sure enough, Peratta was in the crowd, chatting into the ear of a friend. He looked a bit sheepish about getting onstage, though not surprised at the request. I don't remember whether Peratta sang. Someone turned to me and said, "You know, it's amazing. When you talk to Eddie, he has no accent at all. But Alex Van Halen's Australian accent is very clear."

I don't think the Van Halen brothers hail from down under.

Any armchair psychoanalysts out there wanna tackle this one?
Wait -- aren't all psychoanalysts kind of "arm chair"? I mean, it's a sit down job, isn't it?

Neurotically yours,
Mark

Destroyer backstage at Slim's

How do you like this retro style backstage shot from Thanksgiving Weekend?

Overdrive on Youtube

Here's a link to Overdrive doing a couple of Kiss songs last weekend (at our "reunion" show) -- enjoy:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=VHSR8VWXrYE